Amy in depress

Have a very big fight with my very best friend until I don’t know how to handle it. Somehow feeling down, depress, sad etc. Cry for don’t know how many times. Don’t know who to turn to. Helpless. I just don’t like the feelings. At last, as usual, we just pretend nothing happen. I know problems wont solved until we faced it but none of us was willing to face it. She dislike me but not hating me. So do I. What should I do in school when I meet her? A fake smile? Act like I nothing happen? The scar is still there and no one can cure it. 5 years friendship gone then which I feel is not worth it. What to do? It is fruitless if only I am the one who put effort in it. Haiz,what will be will be. Sometime, I keep wondering, what’s best friend for? Aren’t they suppose to be by your side no matter what happen? How come every things goes the opposite way in my life? Gerr, whatever la.

By the way, from now on, I am going to put my every single post in private which means only my contacts will know about it. Everything here will be my secret. I don’t think anyone of you will spread. I thrust you guys and I need someone to share with. Here is my diary and I wont allowed any one to control what I said, what I did. You have no right to control me. I think here is the only space I had. Other than that, I don’t know where myself is  Life is so tired. Is more then enough to kill myself.

Amy in depress.

 

Random

Just visted Yvonne’s blog…

Omg!!!!

She was extremely beautiful, pretty, mature, rich etc…

And what I decide is…

(a)    I wanna keep fit

(b)   I wana take good care of my face

(c)    I wana grow taller (although is out of my control, never mind, I will then wear a pair of high heel shoes may be, the 7 cm one, wakaka..)

(d)   I wana look completely perfect in both physical and mental, as what other people say, there isn’t any girl looks ugly in this world, only lazy girls look ugly, make up make perfect..)

(e)    I am gonna work hard for all my dreams come true….

(f)   I wanna enjoy myself now and do what i like, no more forcing please!

 

P/s  This time, when I say it, I mean it. Really can’t stand myself when looking in the mirror…!!!!!!!

Besides, I get most of my result in this few days…

Some were ok while some were not..

But mostly ok I think..

Haha, as what I expected, my chemistry and history get the highest..

But surprising that my moral and physics get the highest too..

And my add maths, is much more than what I expected…

Wakaka…

Happy…..

But still my English and my Malays paper..

I really don’t understand..

I did put a lot of effort in this two subject k???

How come it didn’t show any improvement..

Especially English..

I hate it..

The discipline teacher just talk to me this morning (not only me la, of course..)

She said the school wont give me the cert if I continue to get “markah dimerit” and ask me not to be late for school again..

Lolz..

Is not my fault la..

There isn’t any public bus for me in that particular time, what you expect me to do?

Walk to school a?

Swt!!!

Mum said, no happy hour for me anymore..

From now on, I am gonna prepare myself for all the challenges..(if I will listen to..)

Wakaka..

By the way, wish me luck for the interview tomorrow..

All the best to myself..