Sunday, June 29, 2008

Amy in depress

Have a very big fight with my very best friend until I don’t know how to handle it. Somehow feeling down, depress, sad etc. Cry for don’t know how many times. Don’t know who to turn to. Helpless. I just don’t like the feelings. At last, as usual, we just pretend nothing happen. I know problems wont solved until we faced it but none of us was willing to face it. She dislike me but not hating me. So do I. What should I do in school when I meet her? A fake smile? Act like I nothing happen? The scar is still there and no one can cure it. 5 years friendship gone then which I feel is not worth it. What to do? It is fruitless if only I am the one who put effort in it. Haiz,what will be will be. Sometime, I keep wondering, what’s best friend for? Aren’t they suppose to be by your side no matter what happen? How come every things goes the opposite way in my life? Gerr, whatever la.

By the way, from now on, I am going to put my every single post in private which means only my contacts will know about it. Everything here will be my secret. I don’t think anyone of you will spread. I thrust you guys and I need someone to share with. Here is my diary and I wont allowed any one to control what I said, what I did. You have no right to control me. I think here is the only space I had. Other than that, I don’t know where myself is  Life is so tired. Is more then enough to kill myself.

Amy in depress.

 

2 comments:

  1. well.....if they somehow finds out abt this blog,
    wont things become more complicated?
    growing up.....i learn that good friends....are hard to find....
    some betray us..... some did things that we might never imagine.
    these things reveal themselves one by one
    and often we become confused and trap in our own anger and sadness.
    wondering why these things happen.
    i still do not hav the exact answer.
    as i'm non bette than u when dealing with these things.
    owever, i'm glad that i still have some of my best friends with me....
    although the number is cutting down slowly.....=(
    perhaps these things are more complicated with girls.....
    juz try and deal it positively
    i hope that you will find your way.......
    all the best

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thx a lot..
    times pass, things change..

    ReplyDelete